"What's my purpose?" How often have you asked yourself that question? How many days have you laid in bed at night not being able to sleep because your mind is consumed with things you can't control? If you are anything like me, it's more often that not. I used to think that finding my purpose would be simple....that all I had to do was make a few changes and it would reveal itself all on it's own. That's the stupidest concept I ever came up with. hahahahahhahaha To even get to that point, I'd have to get all the frustrations out of my brain to make room for happy and clarity. HAPPY and CLARITY. When was the last time I was truly happy? And most importantly, have I ever had clarity? From the outside looking in, I have those things. But if you could see the core of me, you'd see the pain I mask everyday. Why is it "the happiest people (on the surface) are the ones suffering the most?
How did I even get here? I can't understand for the life of me how anyone can be so emotionally detached! NO...I'm not speaking on a suicidal level, so let's be clear about that. I'm talking about WANTING to detach from the world in an attempt to create sanity. I mean, is it even possible to be sane and alone? Even in my zone of brainstorming or even role playing, I can't fathom the thought of being ok with being alone all the time. I can say however, everyone has their own levels of crazy, AND, how they manage that crazy determines how they function in life. Simply put, my goal is to live my best life....but what is that?
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