Sometimes your truth isn't YOUR truth

 

I opened my eyes and thanked God for waking me up (as I always do)....the sun was shining through my bedroom window, the house was quiet and everyone was still sleeping.  My first act of the day is to drop  to my knees and say my prayers... so I did.  But when I got up, I had this different sense of... I guess I can call it peace.  I couldn't though, for the life of me, understand what it was linked to.  I knew today would be busy.  Several stops to make and only a small window of time to get it done.   

I'm (was) the quiet one in the family.  I did what I was told. I didn't like confrontation. I was the peacemaker..... and despite all this, I had no real peace myself.... I always made sure everyone else was good...put everyone else as a priority.... then today happened.  

I'm planning an event for the coming weekend.  Mind you I gave everyone a heads up.  No one had immediate issues with the date.  Then yesterday it starts...I won't be coming....this person said they aren't coming (nope they didn't tell me- someone else did and I had to confirm it after that).... someone else wanted a time change... someone else said it's too far..... you see where I'm going with this? Sadly...this isn't the first occurrence. 

But what happened this time was me saying, I don't care who comes or doesn't come.  I'm not changing anything. The door of grace has been closed. For the first time in my adult life, I am done. I've always had issues with staying silent. I, in my own way of wanting to be accepted and liked, allowed myself to yield to others and their demands so much until it became normal. THIS, wasn't MY truth though.  

I said all that to say... it's not okay to live in someone else's truth. It's not okay to constantly bend over backwards for everyone else and they give you the bare minimum.  I'm saying start matching the same energy you are given!  Because, FOR ME....I no longer care and I wish that I opened my eyes sooner.