I am undeniably an empath. I hate to see people lonely or sad or angry....I take on the same feelings they are feeling with an attempt to fix whatever the problem is. The issue with that is, while I'm out here sharing the feelings of others, no one takes the time to share the things I'm feeling.
My friends tell me I'm alone because I'm too picky. And I may be to a degree, I admit that. But don't we all have preferences? Don't we all have things that we like and dislike? I'm the first to say that we all have some level of dysfunction...ALL OF US. That's totally normal. The trick is, finding someone whose dysfunction can mesh with yours.
The older I get, the more I focus LESS on the physical characteristics. I'm not saying I don't bring those things into play...I'm saying, I'm not looking perfect because I'm far from it. Give me someone cares about their appearance... who shows me how much he cares with balance...someone who is okay with comfortable silence...who can pray with me and for me...who takes care of home and finances...and last but not least CONSISTENT.
I'm tired of dating and still feeling empty. I'm tired of settling with someone because they're nice. Is it wrong for me to want other things as well? Are the days of being a hopeless romantic unreal? I had a conversation with a friend some time back and I made the statement "I just don't wanna die alone." Not in the sense of no family. Because I have family and friends who love me.... But alone in the sense of feeling and experiencing unconditional love. I often feel as if I may have found my person during my season of healing and missed my opportunity for true love. Prayerfully that's not the case.
...One day. But until then I will EXIST on EMPTY.....
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