Don't forget to show up for you.

 Let me start by saying this may be a trigger post.  If you have problems with self accountability or  holding others accountable then maybe this post isn't for you.  

I called the last season of my life "My Season of Selfishness." I soooo wanted to be present in this season! I wanted to put MYSELF first and others after. I wanted to give myself the peace that I thought no one else could provide.  But time after time God showed me that THIS Season wasn't mine to name and HE was in total control.  Did I STILL progress during this season?  I absolutely did.  I learned things about myself that I didn't know.  I learned that the more time I gave God- the more answers HE gave ME.  

Now... this season...the season I won't dare name because I've learned that I don't control anything! lol This season keeps reminding me that it's okay to show up for others as long as I'm showing up for ME MORE! You hear me?! Trust me when I say, it's easy to lose yourself.  It's easy to cater to everyone else...you want everyone else to win so you're pushing and showing up for them while you're drowning alone.  People are picking and choosing when they wanna show up for you...IF they even show up.  And what do you do in return? I'll tell you what...NOTHING.  You continue on like you don't see it...

Then what happens? You get to a point where you're worn.  Your mind and body have just about tapped out.  You're crying and confused because you can't figure out how you got to this point.  You feel like you've done everything you could possibly do....turned the other cheek...gave continual outpouring of help and love.  Still....you come up empty.  Why? You FORGOT to show up for YOURSELF.

I don't care what ANYBODY tells you, DON'T NOBODY LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF.  That's facts! Your self esteem may be low...you  may be blinded by your love of others...but Baby, the moment you start to LOVE YOURSELF, that's when you start to grow! 

You can't tell me NOTHING about NOT SHOWING UP for me! I've been the one extending myself until I no longer recognized myself. I've been the one that took the high road and came out short. I've been the one stressing on someone else's issues while neglecting mine....Uhhh NO THANK YOU, I'm good on returning to that level. 

Showing up for you means the realization that, this isn't a phase, it's a journey. It means, if I say NO, I mean NO. It means, if you make me uncomfortable, not only will you know...but you will also not get the chance to do it again.  It means just like I have expectations of ME, I have expectations of YOU as well.... I'm doing whatever it takes to make me better. To GIVE the best version of yourself, you have to BE the best version of yourself and I'm holding ME accountable.  

I don't know how many ways I can say, don't forget to Show Up for you. So don't forget okay? 

...Extend some Grace.  Share some Love. and Let's A.C.E. (Affirm, change, elevate) 2024!

~S.He Stingss 

Implied Perception should NEVER be part of Your Reality

Perception shouldn't be a part of your reality.   Implied perception should NEVER be a part of your reality. I was in the shower this morning having a whole conversation with myself on how I wanted to present this today.... lol It's crazy because typically I always shoot from the hip when it comes to my #relatablemoments because I want them to be genuine.  And it was.  IS.  

I just wanted people to REALLY understand what I was saying and not confuse it with the norm...  I'm NOT saying, "your perception (OF ME) isn't my reality." I'm saying, "your PRESENTED perception (OF YOU) isn't reality (FOR ME). 

At one time, I was that girl.  I looked at the women around me and wondered why my life couldn't mirror theirs.  They had it all...happy marriages/relationships, nice clothes, nice cars, living in a house and working their dream jobs.  And me?  I couldn't get it right in any relationship, a wasn't a slouch butttt ehhhh  when was the last time I shopped (lol), hadn't purchased a car in years and I lived in an apartment. Ughh..... when was my favor coming? It left me constantly feeling empty....low....insignificant.

But little did I know that even though I knew their story, I didn't know their faith; I didn't know their struggles. I was operating solely on the the things that were PRESENTED to me.  I made that enough reason to change MY outlook on ME.   So little by little, I made the changes I felt like I needed to experience a smidget of who they were.  

The thing is....none of it felt real.  Something was always missing.  And for years I struggled with figuring out just what that was.  It wasn't until I started therapy that I realized the problem was I wasn't trying to better ME. I was creating a mirror image of someone else and that WASN'T me.  

So change began.  It was frustrating and discouraging because... in the process of being them, I lost me. Losing yourself is one of THE MOST hardest hits you will ever feel in life.  I cried, journaled and prayed excessively during this time ... I poured my heart unto God because I knew, without a doubt that I couldn't do it alone.  

Now look at me...sharing my story with you.  Reminding you that "Implied Perception should NEVER be part of Your Reality." Time changes all things WITH EFFORT. 

Alright... I held yall long enough. lol

.....Extend Some Grace. Share some Love.  And Let's A.C.E. (Affirm, Change and Elevate) 2024!

~S.He Stingss 

 

Never Alone

 Life sometimes has a cruel sense of humor.  It pulls you in, pours you a glass of its best wine, rubs your feet and plays your favorite tune.... Suddenly, the chair is pulled from beneath you, the wine splatters your shirt, glass pierces your skin and the music is no more.  You're hurt and confused, while life is continuing on....

Sound familiar? 

I'm sure.  Because more often than not, our emotions take a rollercoaster ride.  We don't know if we're coming or going and no matter how much we try to communicate how we're feeling, no one seems to totally get it. So we're blundering our way through the days...through the moments...when we really just want someone to understand.  Why do we feel so alone? 

But are you?

Hebrews 13:5 reminds us that no matter what, God will NEVER leave us, nor forsake us. Even when we feel like everyone has abandoned us and God is not hearing our prayers....He's There.  In the midst of whatever storm we're riding out, He's right there making sure we don't fall.  So yes, it's okay to feel lonely....just know you are NEVER alone. 

I am sending hugs and prayers to all of you feeling like this today.  I have my days just like anyone else.  Some days I'm good, while others I'm rethinking my entire existence. lol Managing life can be overwhelming! But I take it one day at time.  One prayer at a time. And each day I open my eyes, I start fresh- fixing the things I can and giving God the things I can't.  Know that you are loved....

...Chile. 

...Let's Extend some Grace. Share some Love. And Let's A.C.E. (Affirm, Change, Elevate) 2024! 

~S.He Stingss 

Don't Stop Expecting

 So listen.  I know that I haven't blogged in a few days.  Work and home has been winning. But I'm here.  I am determined to balance my work and social vs. my personal life. I know it's needed, and it's definitely a priority. I'm not there yet tho, so give me some Grace.  

Alright...today's topic:  "Don't Stop Expecting".  In this morning's Leadership Nugget God was telling His disciples that they needed to stay in constant prayer until the answer came...that you don't have to see it HOW it's gonna happen, but BELIEVE that it WILL happen! 

Chileeeee....patience is necessary.  I don't know about yall, but for me, patience is an entire mountain. It is.  Not just a small mountain, a really big one with creatures and cliffs...one that makes you say, "It's no way I'm climbing that, I'm good right here."  Still...I love a good challenge.  I'm fighting and climbing this mountain determined to win....determined to see the results of my labor. Now...I may stop a little while, but I'll get up and I'll continue on my journey- because I won't see what's there unless I reach my destination. 

My obstacles aren't plentiful...but they are enough and they are present. And it's no way I can get through to them on my own. I won't stop expecting God to come through and answer my prayers, my requests, fight my battles and LOVE me so much so that it's no question HE was ALWAYS present through it all.

 Don't Stop Expecting.  God hears you. God sees you.  God is ALWAYS present. Just have faith and believe.  

....Extend Some Grace.  Share some Love. And Let's A.C.E. (Affirm, Change and Elevate) 2024!

~S.He Stingss 

 

Let's Celebrate Growth.

 

As, I get older....I am determined to become a better version of myself.  I refuse to fall into the mold of being disrespectful, rude, no filter etc just because I've crossed a certain age. I don't want people saying, ..." just look over her, she's old." Nah....Hold me accountable! The more excuses you make for people, the more you promote bad behavior; and I don't want any parts of that.  

I wish I could project memories from my previous years...my thoughts and my reactions. Whewwwwww! Yall, it was ugly. I am fully acknowledging that. Honey! Thank God for GROWTH!

I was reading some of my old journal entries a few weeks ago.  And when I tell you so many of them were cringe worthy. My gosh!  If you really wanna track your change, try JOURNALING.  Journaling forces you to see things as they are vs how you want them to be.  I literally sat and cried. I had to thank God as I read them, because in those moments, I didn't realize just how broken I was. 

But God is good.  He's more than good...He's amazing....He's everything to me.  

I'm not gonna sit here and dwell on the past though.  I'm just gonna say,   SHUN, YOU DID THAT!!  It's no way I can stop now! Imagine me in 2 years....imagine me in 5 years....the feeling I have when I realize how far I've come is soooo humbling.  

AND YOU....None of us are where we were. Time has continued to move forward and refused to wait on anyone. No...you may not be where you wanna be, but you DEFINITELY aren't where you were. Your finances may have changed...but your mental capacity is flourishing. You may STILL be battling some mental and financial struggles, but if you stopped long enough to evaluate it, you can see chang there too.    

None of our lives are perfect.  None of us.  No matter how people present themselves, we ALL have work to do.  So, keep pushing.  Keep changing. Keep growing! Your mindset will take you places FEAR cannot be at peace. lol Celebrate growth. 

...Extend some Grace.  Share some LOVE . And Let's A.C.E (Affirm, Change, Elevate) 2024!

~S.He Stingss