Get out of your head

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I wish I kept up with the Seasons of my adult life. How long they lasted....what were their names....what did I learn from them..... and maybe, just maybe I wouldn't feel like some seasons spin the block just to mess with my mental. (lol) I can't be the only one that feels that way. 

Life is...or has become..a rubix cube.  Just when I think I've mastered certain parts of it, I'm reminded that it's gonna take a few more moves and alot of patience to wrap it up.  No lie...it's a struggle.  If it's not the kids, it's the job, if it's not the job I'm sick, if I'm not sick, it's the kids and the job; a constant cluster of revolving issues with not much relief across the board. 

I often wonder what it would be like if all the areas of my life got along.  The kids did what they were supposed to, that my job wasn't so freaking toxic or that my allergies/sinuses behaved DESPITE the fact that I have this ONE dog that my person refuses to put outside (ok...I digress); like what if all of it- worked.  

Get out of your head Shun.  I have to remind myself more often than not to get out of my head. That life doesn't stop happening because I'm tired or not getting the answers I so desperately need.  As I was listening to PMJ (Pastor Mike Jr)  this morning I was reminded that sometimes when we feel that God isn't answering our prayers is because sometimes, the very thing we're praying for.....HE made it happen! So guess what? It wasn't ours to begin with anyway.  Wheww chile! Yall not ready for this testimony.  If only yall knew the half of what I've encountered the past few years.....I'm telling you....me being here and SANE has nothing to do with me but EVERYTHING to do with God.  He apparently is in the keeping business.  lol 

But in all seriousness.  Get out of your head.  Pray. Let it go and move forward. 

Until Next time....Remain,

Healthy; Humble. Hydrated. 

I AINT GOT IT

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Repeat after me. 

I ain't got it. I ain't got time for your pettiness, your mess, your false promises, your disrespect....

I ain't got time for your gossip, your backstabbing, and your plotting for my demise. 

Regardless to what you have going on over there, I'M GOOD over here. Even when I'm not good, I'm STILL good.

Last year was one of the hardest, yet best years of my life.... I learned that some people thrive off your despair. But, the moment you're smiling and happy, their spirits become disturbed.  If nothing else, you gotta be comfortable with the shine your blessings brings, even when the world around you is full of gloom.

Becoming you wasn't easy, so you already know maintaining you will be a chore. Take it in stride though... the more you scar, the stronger you heal. 

NOBODY.... I mean NOBODY has control over your joy until you hand over the remote.  Be stingy with not only your access, but your channels as well.  They can't break what they don't know. 

We don't have time today or any day. 

Until next time.....remain,

Healthy.  Humble.  Hydrated 

Dreams.

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It's 2025.  We still telling people our dreams? 

Dreams to me have always been the focal point in how far I gotta drive.  They remind me in so many pictures that I 1) need to get my stuff together or 2) I'm headed in the right direction.  It's not too many times that my dreams have been random plays of what could be in my head because me...I'm always thinking of what's next.  

For some people tho...they feel as if all their dreams should be shared.  Shared to the masses so that when they conquer whatever it is they are trying to reach; they can say, "I told you, I did that." But as a poet and a believer in God, I realized two things.  

1. In Harlem, Langston Hughes  references a dream deferred?  Does it go away? Get tough or heavy? Or become too much? 

What happens to a dream deferred?

      Does it dry up

      like a raisin in the sun?

      Or fester like a sore—

      And then run?

      Does it stink like rotten meat?

      Or crust and sugar over—

      like a syrupy sweet?

      Maybe it just sags

      like a heavy load.

      Or does it explode?

I feel like he was telling us...reminding us that acting on our dreams should happen the moment we start dreaming. He didn't say, tell the masses.  He insinuated that we act on it while it's fresh and before it loses it's power.  

Let's dive deeper, the Word of God in Genesis 40:8 says "We both had dreams," they answered, "tbut there is no one to interpret them." Then Joseph said to them, "Do not interpretations belong to God?" Did you catch that? Interpretations belong to GOD. So tell me again why we're sharing our dreams with the next person?

We gotta be smarter than that.  Chill on presenting your dreams to others and start sharing your dreams with God.  He's the one with the final say anyway...  Don't say I never told you nothing. (wink)

Until next time....remain,

Healthy. Humble. Hydrated

Don't be scared to let go.

    💪🏾🙌🏾💧

For those who have been following me for a while, you know I don't mind being transparent.  I don't mind people knowing my past, as long as they don't "try me" in my present.  I can, without a doubt say, I've evolved.....evolved in just about every aspect of my life. And if no one else is proud of me, I'M PROUD OF ME.      

My seasons have been ghetto.  I've ridden the rollercoaster in high altitudes afraid to look down out of fear....but those moments are gone.  I'm ME. I'm imperfect. I don't make the right decisions all the time. I have my moments and allow the old me to make guest appearances.  I wouldn't change not ONE thing.  Even with regrets, all of my mistakes made me who I am today. 

Storytime:

I once was in an almost 6 year situationship. We'll call him "Brown." Brown and I met online and immediately hit it off.  Brown was beautiful...yes I called him beautiful because physically he was perfect to me lol....He was stable and most of all we had an amazing connection.  Now mind you, I went in with the premise of at some point being in a relationship with him.  Yet...little did I know, Brown had no intentions of that ever happening.  

Our schedules were crazy, so we rarely went out.  Date nights were always at his place. (I never invited him over due to my girls being present) We texted more than we talked.  I never met his family. In the 6 years of our dealings, we were only out in public together ONCE.  Looking back, I had all the flags.  All of which I ignored.  

Every time I would bring up us or our "relationship", he'd defer.  He'd dress it up so pretty, I would feel crazy for even asking.  And....despite my desire to be in a committed relationship, I settled with just being the "special" friend.  

This went on for 6 years. SIX!!  Then came therapy. 

 Listen to me when I say, sometimes God gives us all the warning signs and because we want what we want, we choose not to accept them.  The unanswered calls, the texts that mostly happened in the evenings, the lack of public appearance etc....not one of those things stopped me from being with this man.  But therapy did.  

I remember being on video call with my therapist when we took the deep dive on Brown.  Question after question, she made these faces with my responses. And at the end she said, "Ro...at what point did you STOP loving yourself?" I had no words.  Not because she said it, but because as I'm explaining it to her, I could see CLEARLY how naïve I had been. I couldn't even answer her question.....cause chileeeeeeeeee I didn't know myself.  But her next words is what gave me the boost to end it all.  She said: 

"If meeting someone where they are, compromises who YOU are, YOU have to let them go. Being THEIR peace shouldn't mean sacrificing YOUR OWN." 

The dam broke and she allowed me to cry it out. She said crying was my goodbye to the old me and letting him go would be the intro to the new me.  

When I ended my session, I blocked his number then proceeded to delete not only his thread, but his number, his pictures, his social media and whatever else tied me to him.  She asked me to write the pros and cons of being with him and you know what? The only two pros I had were both physical! 

I got on my knees and prayed God allowed me to walk away and never look back.  I took a step back from dating. Dated myself.  Loved myself. That was one of the MOST important steps of my life.  We gotta stop being afraid to let go because of fear of being alone. We gotta stop accepting what people give us if it's not something that grows us.  We're stronger than our fears. 

Don't be scared to let go.

 

Until next time...remain,

Healthy. Humble. Hydrated.

Stingss Hydration Newsletter 1st Edition