He definitely aint
lying. Everyday we out here tryna please people who could care less about
our emotional stability. It seems, the older I get, the more I evaluate
the people around me....people that have been in my corner for years. Why
does it take so long to realize that those accolades weren't real...those
prayers didn't exist...and those just playing jokes were the truth?
I once took a month off
social media. Like completely disconnected. I took that time to
exercise, to journal, to meditate, to pray....I even fasted. I asked God
to remove people and things from my life that wasn't in line with what He has
for me. And baby.....the people and things He removed......whewwwwwww. I
was crushed! So much so that I didn't realize the burdens I no longer
had. I didn't know how to deal with it. But wait...you know what I
did next? I went right back to the things he removed. I made
excuses for what they did....made excuses on why I remained.
Now here I was right back
where I started and blaming the devil for it. It wasn't him though! THIS
whole mess was all me! Instead of accepting my part in all this foolishness, I
was deflecting the blame. Then one morning, as I was listening to Pastor
Keion's podcast. He was talking about how we pray for things and then
when we get what we pray for (just not in the form we want it) we try and toss
it back with stipulations. He said not only should we be praying for
answers, but the strength in accepting those answers! And let me tell you
something...lol THAT episode was my OUCH moment. That was my reality
check.
Shortly after, the
dynamics of my prayer changed. I not only prayed for the things I
couldn't fight alone, but also the answers I needed, acceptance to the answers
AND the desire to change it all. I wanted to feel good about protecting
MY peace. It was in that moment, I decided to please myself JUST AS
MUCH as I try to please others. I owed it to myself to regain control of MY
life. How can I hold someone else accountable for THEIR actions when I don't
even hold MYSELF accountable? That part.
Stop accepting the
bullshit. Stop making excuses for people. Stop riding the
rollercoaster of emotions and expecting new results. They heard you the
first time. Peace won't EVER be true peace unless you protect
it.
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