This journal entry was from 2019.....just 3 short years ago. For those readers out there, if you've read Sister Soulja's Life After Death- Book 2 reference "Dat N***a. He was a very beautiful man who had everything to offer but possessed an evil, selfish soul. No matter what he did or said, they always came back. Definitely a play on words...he knew exactly what it took for the souls to return. It was alot of them. All of them served different purposes. They however, thought it was just one. Them. As a reader we had a full view from the outside. We witnessed the deception first hand. We saw CLEARLY his intentions were less than pure. Still, as the character, they were brain washed, desperate and holding on to what they knew wasn't right but refused to accept. They paid the price many, many times before they saw the light. Some never saw it. I was one of those women. I allowed myself for years to be manipulated without second thought. Imagine how I felt when finally I got it. The hurt and disgust that followed. THIS is the side effect of loving someone MORE than you love yourself.
I read a tweet today on Twitter that said, "I'm so glad I didn't get what I thought I wanted." I literally screamed at the phone when I read it. When I tell you, I FELT THAT....I FELT that post to the core of my soul! I've lost count on how many times I've literally prayed for something or someone only to be denied. I couldn't understand why in those moments. But now...now that I've had a chance to look back and see the things I couldn't see....I'm soooooo very grateful! I don't look like half the stuff I've been through. Life hasn't always treated me kind.
I'm here though. Good days. Bad days. Happy Days. Sad days. I make the most of it. I know that everyday won't be a good day, but I find some good in EVERY day.
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