Stop leaving the Definites for the Maybes or Nevers...

 I really lost track of time this morning and forgot to post my blog entry for today and let me just say, it's ironic...Ironic in the sense that my entry for today is: "Stop leaving the Definites for the Maybes or Nevers". For me, it's my immediate family and my few close friends.  And... today it seemed just about all of them needed me in some sense.  So yes...they WERE and ARE the priority.  

Whewww...can we talk about this? Can we talk about how there are times where you really want other people to make you a priority and time after time after time, they show you that you are NOT a priority? Felt like a sucker punch didn't it? I know.  Been there. Done that. Collected several tshirts. I admit it, this WAS me. 

When I thought back on it and  did some serious self examination, I realized that those people weren't for me.  They didn't care if I won.  They didn't care about my well being.  My sole purpose for them was availability. Yeah....as long as I was available, I was relevant.  

Meanwhile, my cheer team, my hype team, my accountability team, my prayer team....they fell by the wayside. I became emotionally unavailable to them because my focus was on securing viability for someone else.  

But guess who was there for me when I got my feelings hurt...when I needed a hug...when I forgot how AMAZING (lol) I am? My Team.  We gotta start celebrating them EVERYDAY on purpose.  We gotta start pouring into them as they pour into us.  Not because they require it, but because they DESERVE it.    

When people show you who they are...believe it.  When people show you who you are to them...believe them.  

Stop leaving the Definites for the Maybes or Nevers...

...    Let's Extend some Grace. Share some Love. And A.C.E (Affirm, Change, Elevate) 2024!

~S.He Stingss 

Obstacle or Bad Decision?

Obstacle= Something material or non material standing in the way of advancement

Example: I have a thyroid disorder...so, no matter how less I eat or workout, I still gain weight.  The meds are taking a minute to get into my system, but in the meantime, I'm being consistent in my daily routine. 

Bad decision= When you blatantly go against your better judgment; deciding to do something you shouldn't 

Example:  I want to lose weight. So...at the beginning of every month...year... I commit myself to eating healthy and working out.  Yet every chance I get, I skip my workouts and continue to indulge in eating without limits. 

Sound familiar? (lol) Even if it's not, I'm sure you can relate to something similar.... a goal not reached, a status not attained, all due to YOU and your bad decisions.  

I want you to realize that your choice in decision making sometimes drives unnecessary and unwanted obstacles your way. It's not always karma or the devil.....it's simply YOU making it harder on your already complicated life. But how many of us own up to that? How many times has something happened and we said, "...this is my fault. I'm the reason why this happened."

Not often enough. 

For some reason, people feel like holding themselves accountable makes them less credible. That's far from the truth.  Acknowledging your wrongs, taking responsibility for your actions.....that BUILDS your character.  It means right or wrong, I am going to recognize the role that I've played. AND....in the event that I was wrong, I'm going to be transparent enough to not only admit that I did it, but apologize and fix it. (if I can) 

It takes a strong person to admit their faults. 

But on this busy road to success....the road that almost everyone is currently on....Accountability is not only necessary, but needed.  We need more transparency and less cover ups.  We need more humbleness and less pride.  And most importantly, we need to be able to differentiate between a true obstacle or a bad decision.  So...... the next time you're ready to blame fault...think about, was it YOU or is this a life obstacle you are preparing for! The answer may surprise you...

...Extend some Grace.  Share some Love. And Let's A.C.E. (Affirm, Change and Elevate) 2024!

~S.He Stingss 

Change the Narrative of your Season

 It’s Saturday morning and I’m preparing to go spend some much needed time with my grandbaby.  It’s amazing how the thoughts and imagination of children drive their everyday moves.  Have you ever sat and listened to them as they play? Whatever it is that they dream of, these are things they speak.  If they want new toys, they pretend the old toys are new ones. If they want to go somewhere new, they lay out their play area exactly the way they are aiming to be. Some of these things are pretend… while some are things attainable.  It doesn’t matter to them though, because in their minds this is THEIR REALITY. 

As adults, we have unconsciously become non believers of speaking life into our existence. I say unconsciously because even in the midst of us SPEAKING our hopes and dreams into what we pray will be reality, we are also agreeing with the next person claiming this will be the worst season of our life. How can we expect God to move on our behalf when we aren’t believing ourselves? 

Obstacles come with every season. Let us learn to praise Him despite the current challenges we’re experiencing. Let us continue to expect BLESSINGS AND OVERFLOW.  

 Change the narrative of your season.  Speak it. Live it and learn from it.  

…Extend some Grace. Share some Love. And A.C.E. (Affirm, Change and Elevate) 2024! 

~S.He Stingss 

Journeys....

I read a post on Threads from Friendvotional that said " Don't compare your journey, Sis.  You are exactly where God needs you to be right now." Mind you, as I was reading it, I was actually rethinking my life in the current state. Honey... life is DEFINITELY "lifeING" soooooo I was wondering...what  if I made JUST ONE alternate decision...JUST ONE...would my life be different?

My life the past few years has been a true rollercoaster.  Good days, bad days, little Faith, lots of Faith and here I am, still here figuring it out.  I can't tell you how many days I've looked at someone else and said, maybe if I stop trying to do everything right like them or maybe if I do everything right like they do, then I can have some normalcy in my life.  lol

But when I read that post yesterday, God reminded me that I am not only EXACTLY where he needs me to be right now....I'm EXACTLY where he NEEDS and WANTS me to be. NOTHING is by chance.  Every step I have taken is preparing me for the next levels and seasons of my life.  And while my journey may be similar to someone else's....our blessings are unique.  These blessings He sends us are labeled individually to fit OUR SPECIFIC NEEDS. 

Now...I'm not gonna tell you that God and I don't have these conversations where I'm like, "Lord...you know I'm trying and yeah....you said you give your battles to your strongest soldiers, but can you put me on the reserve list for a minute? Like....give ME some Grace.  I need a minute." Whewww..  The struggle is real, BUT so is GOD.  

So....if you're anything like me, you probably need a reminder. Your journey may not be easy.  You may not see the light at the end.  You may not even feel like you are strong enough to make it.  Not true.  YOU ARE and YOU WILL. 

Remember...God will meet you where you are.  YOU just gotta take the steps and open your arms to let HIM in. 

.....let's Extend some Grace, Share some Love and A.C.E. (Affirm,, Change and Elevate) 2024!

~She Stingss

 

If you succeed in peace, you bypass the world's expectations

 Success by definition- is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.  There are no instructions...it doesn't come with a handbook.. and how each person measures success differs.  To some money is the motive- while to others the following or fame- still in the end, all of it is essentially one in the same.  

Over the years, success has increasingly become higher in demand.  Everyone wants to be successful.  Books, YouTube channels, TikTok videos, seminars, you name it, they have it.  And people are relentless in purchasing it.  We get so caught up with exceeding (at any cost) that when we reach the top; we find ourselves struggling to embrace our wins without the added stress.  

But here's my take.  If you succeed in peace, you bypass the world's expectations. 

Let me break it down for you.  Succeeding in peace is you taking the time to map your journey. It's you putting in the work. It's you being okay with being re routed. It's you working out the kinks. It's you researching and evolving. Success won't happen overnight.  It happens when it's YOUR time.  And unfortunately, we don't have any control over when that is.  We just have to have FAITH and do the work so that when it does, we're ready.  You then SUCCEED in PEACE. 

You succeed in peace while BYPASSING the world's expectations! Now....I'm not saying the world won't have expectations.  I'm saying you won't CARE about the world's expectations.  Taking the route that you've taken gives you the esteem, the knowledge, the connects and the endurance you need to CONTINUALLY win.  

And while you probably don't need this reminder, I'm just gonna say...we reap what we sow...so be mindful in the way that you're inching your way towards success.  

I want us all to win! In any capacity that we are praying for.  But I also want us to have the peace that comes with it...and that begins with doing things the right way.  

...Let's Extend some Grace. Share some Love. And A.C.E. (Affirm, Change and Elevate) 2024!

~She Stingss 

When the Room becomes Uncomfortable.

 

Ever walked in a room only for the conversation to cease and all eyes on you? Ever been somewhere feeling so out of place that you couldn't concentrate? Yeah....that feeling.  I've been there.  And, I'm sure you have been there too.  

There should come a point in your life where you stop ignoring your intuitions and start facing them head on.  These feelings didn't occur by chance.  All of it was intentional. Every single occurrence.  The red flags showed even before the episodes. You saw all of them and chalked it up to coincidence.  Why? Familiarity. Loyalty. Fear.  But what you counted out was the fact that these things were just the beginning of what ""should be" your exit-- your moment of enlightenment. 

No one understands why in these moments.  The only thing we're focused on is the way you are feeling;  the anger, the sadness, the humiliation and other feelings you just can't put into words.  Honey... I've been there. It's not fun. Not only that it mentally demoralizes you to the point where you begin to question yourself more and more.  How could being uncomfortable put me into a position to win?

James 1:2-3 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." 

You probably read that and thought how can I even get there when my faith is wavering and it seems as if there is no way out? Maintaining the mindset that you can persevere is easier said than done.  Especially when you have become comfortable being uncomfortable.  And when you reach that point, I want you to remember these two things: 

1.  God will ALWAYS meet you where you are. 
2.  God will NEVER leave you, nor forsake you.  

In order to grow, change has to occur.  And with all change comes challenges and spots of uncomfortable lessons.  We are stronger than we think. That's not a trend....that's facts.  If only we knew of the endless blessings that hadn't even reached us yet...But....you'll only get there if you step out of the zone that's holding you.  

Walk out of the uncomfortable into your favor! 

....Extend some Grace. Share some Love.  And A.C.E (Affirm, Change, Elevate) 2024!

Normalizing ENFORCING OUR BOUNDARIES

 I don't know if you paid any attention to my blog intro when you entered my page.  And if you didn't, it's fine, let me go ahead and give you the disclaimer.  ".....everyday is NOT a good day and that's okay!" But....make no mistake, I'm going to make the best of EVERYDAY. I may complain, I may cry, my faith my waiver, still....all in in all, life continues.  

Today in fact IS NOT a good day.  It's  super stressful and I'm basically struggling my way through it.  I will, without a doubt make it.. Just probably not void of someone receiving an eyeroll or silence or maybe even an earful of what I've been holding. - Mind yall business though.  -lol

Alright! Let's get into today's relatable moment. 

As of late, normalcy isn't normal.  It's always a need to "normalize" something that SHOULD BE already normal.  Crazy right? Like normalizing compassion....or normalizing common courtesy (yes, please and thank you)....How are those things NOT normal? Imma tell you why.  We are basically living SIMON SAYS era. No one does ANYTHING until SIMON says it. I mean...  Who's SIMON anyway? He's definitely NOT the boss of me! 

Anywho...while we're normalizing things, I vote we normalize ENFORCING OUR BOUNDARIES.  People LOVE to push us beyond our boundaries.  They LOVE pushing their own selfish agendas and have zero cares that THEIR agendas or expectations do not align with OUR boundaries.  It's in those moments that we should be taking that power BACK and saying, I can't stop you from doing the things that you do or saying the things that you feel AS LONG AS those things aren't directly affecting me.  

ENFORCE YOUR BOUNDARIES so much so people will think twice before asking you to reconsider because you have mastered protecting your peace to the point of perfection.  It's not selfish.  It's allowing yourself to choose YOU unapologetically because you deserve it.  

That's all. 

....Extend some Grace.  Share some LOVE. And A.C.E. (Affirm, Change and Elevate) 2024! 

`She Stingss

Separate to Elevate

Elevate. Elevation. Elevating.....any variation of the word still requires growth. Growth that is necessary in order to even begin the journey of elevating.  Now...let's be honest.  When you are sitting and deciding your goals...when you are thinking about how or what you want your next season to look like... are you thinking about "You" or "Them"? "Them" being the world around you. Are you mimicking how you want your future to look based on someone else's victories or simply the things you want for "self"?  

So many of us lay out the blueprint of our journey by copying the successes of those seen around us not knowing the full journey they encountered. We see the victories, we see the glam, we see the financial stabilities but we are completely unaware of failures, ugliness and negative balances they may have encountered along the way.  We are so "invested" in winning that we fail to see that maybe some of their obstacles are our strong points and while they had to take 4 detours, we only need 2.  Their blessings aren't our blessings and the calling God has for our life certainly doesn't mirror theirs.  

It's important that in these moments of planning, that we not lose focus of the fact that OUR plans for our life may not be GOD'S plan. That in ALL things, we should be seeking HIS direction FIRST.  Sooooo....how do we do that? We take a moment to SEPARATE ourselves. Separate yourself. Give yourself time to be alone.  I'm not saying completely void yourself from the world.... I'm saying KNOW when to interact and when to separate.  

Do you know how much clearer the mind can be if you allow yourself to remove the clutter? 

If you don't....this is your challenge to try it.  

1.  Write your goals. Expel unnecessary clutter. 

2.  Pray on them, over them, through them- your prayers should be a personal conversation between you and GOD. No one else.

3.   Watch everything come into fruition. I'm not saying it will be easy....I'm saying it will happen though.  

Sometimes you gotta separate to elevate.  Sacrifice some time away from social media or whatever distractions that are slowing you down to work on you.  YOU are worth it.  

....Extend some Grace, Share some LOVE...and A.C.E. (Affirm, Change and Elevate) 2024! 

Necessity or Nah…

 Stop playing with me like I’m regular because I can assure you that I’m not. I have no desire to fit into rooms not made for me, no desire to dumb myself down for the sake of the person next to me and most importantly I am fully confident in the person I was, I am and who I will elevate to be.  

The younger Shun RoMon couldn’t see her full potential because she was blinded and awed by the world around her.  I was so busy watching everyone else, I forgot about me. As I look back, I can see clearly the times I should have separated myself from things and people,  but held on due to history, connections or fear. 

Many of us get so caught up in trends that they miss the bigger picture… miss the redirection …. miss the blatant disrespect we are receiving through the negative energy surrounding us. And before we know it, WE become the very thing that’s constantly trending…. NEGATIVITY. 

Negativity yields doubt and fear and holds you in a grip so tight that even if you wanted to make moves, they would be unproductive ones because you have allowed negativity to alter your mindset.  

Let go of the idea that friendships, relationships and family ties are inevitable. They are NOT. ANYONE that constantly disturbs your peace, attacks your visions, and fills you with negativity is NOT someone you should be attached to.  IT’S OK TO LET GO.  It’s ok to say I love you but I’m going to love you from a distance.  

We have to change the narrative of our mindsets. But in order to do that, we have to began to be more transparent with ourselves…. Love ourselves enough to say, I need and want to do better in my choices.  

…. Let’s extend some Grace, Share some love and ACE (Affirm, Change and Elevate) this season! 

Everything Has Reason

 For the past week, sleep has only come in waves and even then the dreams were so profound, I couldn’t ignore them if I wanted to. It’s in these moments I understand my Mom saying, “Be careful what you pray for…” and let me tell you why… 

My journal entries and prayers at the beginning of MY New Year (November 27th) has been filled with requests that God lead me and show me exactly where He wants me to be… that He allow me to walk in my purpose. These requests were submitted humbly, daily…. But let me tell you what was missing…. INTENT and WORKS. 

I was so busy trying to squeeze everything and everyone in that I LIMITED my time with God. He was part of a routine just like everyone else. And that’s where I went wrong. Hearing God speak requires you have to be INTENTIONAL (INTENT) in making time for Him. And in making time you must SEEK (WORK) Him without ceasing. 

I believe that me testing positive for COVID was no mistake. That God basically sat me down so I could see and hear the things He expected of me. Those sleepless nights were no accident. I was alone. Just me and Him. And the answers became clear… 

I said all that to say, EVERYTHING HAS REASON.  We may not see it or even understand it, but with time, God reveals all.

…. Extend some Grace, share some love and ACE (Affirm, Change and Elevate) this season. ~S.He Stingss

Disappointed but not Discouraged

 

I gotta figure out how to work this mobile app. This year I’m holding myself accountable in being more consistent.  

I literally haven’t posted since July. Not because I couldn’t, but because I allowed myself to be so distracted that THIS wasn’t a priority.  But here I am.  

Let me give you a brief version of what you missed:

1.  I released my first journal.  It’s now available for purchase on Amazon. 

2.  I moved out of my apartment and in with my now fiancée. Yes… fiancée.  God has blessed me with my person and I am so happy and so grateful for him.

3. I dropped a T-shirt line.  6 shirts…. A new line will be coming soon. 

4.  Still dealing with my oldest daughter… not gonna dwell much on it, but prayers are appreciated. 

Now… here we are today.  End of the COVID quarantine.  Came over to take care of the oldest and grandbaby and guess who got it?! lol It’s well.  That’s what mother’s do. 

I got some needed rest and clarity during this period that I needed. I also was reminded that people will pick you up and put you down as often as they like… as long as you ALLOW it. Chile… it’s hurtful…especially when it’s someone you gave birth to. Whewwwww! But, God makes no mistakes, so I don’t consider this a setback, just a temporary pause.  I may be disappointed but not discouraged.  God is working on my behalf. 

So yeah! I’m back!! Today’s #shestingsreltablemoment is:  It’s okay to be disappointed, just don’t be discouraged.  Every obstacle hits different but all of them are temporary! 

Extend some Grace….share some love and let’s ACE (Affirm, Change and Elevate) this season! I’ll post my video on this tomorrow! ~S.He Stingss 

https://linktr.ee/shunromon